dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
