how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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