so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
