Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
