you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize