That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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