Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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