you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
