you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
