I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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