If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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