yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
