hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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