Have you finally orgasmed yet?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
