I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
