I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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