Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
