....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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