I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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