You're so nebulous sometimes
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
