I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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