; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
