I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Swine flu. Run for my life!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
