Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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