that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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