I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
