Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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