just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You don't make any sense
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