STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He passed out mid-signature
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
