I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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