i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
