Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
