I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
