He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
