Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
