the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
