omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
