i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
