We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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