He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
