can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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