They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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