That's intense
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
