Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
