I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize