You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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