my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
