I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize