My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
