singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
