I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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