ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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