Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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