I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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