So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Congratulations! We have a period
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
