I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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