8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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