would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize