I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize