Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
No I am not eating basil off your cock
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
