wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
