you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
