I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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