I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
