Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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