I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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