Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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