We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
