Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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