I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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