i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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