Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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