Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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