**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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