I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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