I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
