In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize