accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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