I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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