WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
