HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
