i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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