i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
