you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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