bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
