Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
