By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
