it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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