ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
