whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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