Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
